Family problems

Within the home environment, children can be exposed to many stresses that will affect their everyday life.

Children may, for example, experience neglect, abuse, violence, poverty, witness domestic abuse, see parents or siblings go in and out of prison, among other things.

Changes within the family set up can also impact on children’s mental health.

Familyproblems Infographic

Spotting the signs

There are a number of ways that a child may react that could suggest they are struggling or not coping with their home situation, or changes at home. School staff should watch out for the following signs:

  • becoming withdrawn
  • regressing (or acting suddenly younger than their years) in some way – for example bed wetting, clinginess, baby talk
  • sleeplessness and nightmares
  • behavioural problems and anger
  • school refusal.

Some children may benefit from additional help if they continue to show signs of distress – this may include one-to-one or group-based counselling, nurture groups, or working with parents and carers to come up with strategies to help the child cope and provide them with the support they need.

Impact on children’s mental health

If a family set up changes, children may react in many different ways. For some children, changes can bring relief if there are things going on at home which have caused distress. For other children, these changes can bring feelings of anger, sadness, withdrawal and even shame as they try and make sense of their feelings.

The age of the child will also influence how well they understand what has happened and how distressed they may feel.

When the structure of a family changes children may feel:

  • shock, loss and rejection
  • anger
  • a strong desire to get parents back together
  • fearful about being left alone; if one parent leaves perhaps the other one will too
  • responsible – with feelings of guilt that they have done something wrong
  • torn between both parents
  • that they have to keep both parents happy by saying negative things about the other.

What can schools do

Schools and teachers can play a vital role in providing continuity, especially during periods of change. It’s important for children to feel that they belong and are comfortable in the classroom.

With the right support, children can learn to cope and adapt to changes in their family and recover from any distress experienced. This is especially the case if parents and carers are reassuring and responsive to their needs.

If the relationship between the child and their parents has been positive, then ongoing contact with the absent parent is important for the child’s development, even if this is infrequent.

Top tips

Schools can help to strengthen children’s resilience and support them during these challenging times by focusing on the following:

  • creating an atmosphere that welcomes all types of families and encourages involvement of adults who play an important role in the child's life. This includes having a variety of books and resources that celebrate diverse family groups
  • helping children to develop resilience through teaching them social and emotional skills. This can be during health & wellbeing education and broader curriculum lessons, assemblies, through whole-school programmes, circle time or children’s books focusing on aspects of mental health and wellbeing
  • building a sense of belonging and positive relationships in the classroom and school, which is based on trust, safety and security, and promoting pupil wellbeing. Visit our page on belonging for tips and advice
  • teachers promoting warmth, acceptance and understanding, and showing the benefit of a healthy relationship with an adult
  • school staff noticing when a child is struggling and putting the best support in place, and if necessary, referring any concerns on to the designated safeguarding lead. Some children may benefit from seeing the school nurse or accessing one-to-one or group-based counselling. Schools can also contact local community-based support groups including community counselling, specialist CAMHS, voluntary sector and family support and children’s services
  • working in partnership with parents and carers to find the best strategy for supporting the child. Being aware that parents and carers may also be under pressure and providing signposting to appropriate support. Staff can also help parent engagement through greeting parents in the playground and providing an open-door policy.

Related resources

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Childline: family and relationships

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MindEd for families

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YoungMinds Parents' Helpline

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